Sober
by Maybe I Do
Summary: It's a song fic inspired by the song Sober by: Kelly Clarkson. It explains itself. Please read and review. Thanxs!P.S. This was supposed to be a oneshot, but I decided to continue it, so I had to change the rating.
1. Sober

**Sober**

_Summary: I was bored, and listening to Sober by: Kelly Clarkson. It inspired me, and I hope you like it, or get it, or both. It helps if you listen to the song. Thank you._

_Disclaimer: Though like many others I wish I did, but do not own Harry Potter, etc. I also do not own the song "Sober". All I own is the plot and my personal inspirational muse that visits me every now and then._

_And I don't know  
This could break my heart or save me  
Nothing's real  
Until you let go completely  
So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving  
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me_

The war was over. Things were supposed to get better, but they only seemed to get worse. Harry was different to say the least. Ron had developed a little problem, or maybe it was more than a little problem. I haven't seen Ron sober since the final battle, since I saw Voldemort fall. With the war over, Harry was supposed to marry Ginny. Ron and I were supposed to date and eventually marry. What happened to our happily ever after? Ginny ran off with Pansy Parkinson soon after the final battle. She only said something about finding herself, and then she walked out the door and didn't look back.

_Three months and I'm still sober  
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers_

It's been three months since I last saw my friends and family all happy, all smiling and laughing, all **sober**. It was Christmas, only three weeks before the final battle. We had gathered at Hogwarts to be in someway closer to Dumbledore. Christmas was one of his favorite holidays. I would give anything to go back in time to that day. Yes, Voldemort was still at large. The wizarding world was falling into utter chaos, but there was a ray of light that shined whenever someone laughed that day. Now, that light seems to be gone.

_And I don't know  
I could crash and burn but maybe  
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me  
_

After the battle, it's like Harry lost his mind. Ginny leaving definitely didn't help, but that wasn't all of it. I guess the battle will never really be over in Harry's mind, and there is nothing I can do to bring him back. Now that Voldemort is gone, Harry acts like he has no reason to live.

___Three months and I'm still breathing__  
__Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know_  
_It's never really over, no_

Wake Up

Ron…I don't know what happened to Ron. Maybe the losses were too much for him. Mrs. Weasley now resides in the same ward as Neville's parents and Gilderoy Lockhart. Mr. Weasley was killed by Blaise Zabini before Neville got to Blaise himself. Luna Lovegood was killed slowly and painfully by the Cruciatus curse by Draco Malfoy and his father, Lucious. I know Ron loved her. He might have even loved her more than me. Many more died as well. Fleur, Cho Chang, Colin Creevey and his brother Dennis.

_Three months and I'm still standing here  
Three months and I'm getting better yeah  
Three months and I still am_

Yet, it has been three months since that Christmas day, and I'm the only one who's still** sober**. The Golden Trio is no more. It's been three months, but I still remember the joy, the light.

_Three months and I'm still breathing  
Three months and I still remember it  
Three months and I wake up _

When Harry and Ron come back to me, and now I'm forced to say if they come back to me, I'll hold them close. Then, I'll help them see the light again. I've put Ron in a rehab, and enrolled Harry in a muggle life sessions. Hopefully in three months, they'll be back, and I won't be the only one who's still **sober**.

_Three months and I'm still sober  
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers_

_Thank you for reading my story, and whether you like it or not...please review. _


	2. Pain

_Hello, again!!! I didn't plan on continuing, but I did. This chapter is based of the song "Pain" by Three Days Grace, and it's written from Harry's point of view. Again, listening to the song helps you understand the story more, and I hope you like it, understand it, or both. _

_Disclaimer: No, I don't own HP, and I don't own the song "Pain" by: Three Days Grace. I just love them both a lot._

**Pain**

_Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

_"**Hermione! Ron! Where are you?" I shouted out. **_

_"**We're here mate," Ron replied. **_

_You're sick of feeling numb  
You're not the only one  
I'll take you by the hand  
And I'll show you a world that you can understand_

Triumphantly, we walked out of the dark forest… alive. Voldemort's body had disintegrated at the end of our battle. I couldn't believe it. All of my pain, the fear, it was all gone, but surprisingly, I felt empty.

_This life is filled with hurt  
When happiness doesn't work  
Trust me and take my hand  
When the lights go out you will understand_

Two days after the battle, Ginny left me. She told me, in so many more words, that I wasn't the same, and how she needed someone who would live with her, not live watching her. Can you imagine my surprise when I found out that person was Pansy Parkinson?

_Pain, without love  
Paint, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all  
Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

Ron… my best mate… my confidant. I don't know what happened to Ron, but I can guess. When we returned from the dark forest, we found out how high the death toll actually was. I knew Ron and Luna Lovegood were secretly dating, but Ron hadn't figured out how to break it to everyone else, but especially how to tell Mione. (I think she already suspected the truth.) I also knew that he was planning on asking Luna to marry him after they told everyone. It probably killed Ron's soul and heart when Bill told him Luna had been tortured until death by the Malfoys, yet I felt no sympathy for my best friend, so instead, Ron found his comfort in drained fire whiskey bottles because I wasn't there.

_Anger and agony  
Are better than misery  
Trust me I've got a plan  
When the lights go off you will understand_

Hermione seems to be doing fine. She enrolled in classes to become a Healer. If only Mione knew, I never really wanted to marry Ginny. That was why it didn't really hurt when she left. I wanted her, my Hermione. Everyone had always planned out this fantasy life where me, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione lived in a huge house somewhere together, happily ever after. Looks like that wasn't going to happen now.

_Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all  
Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing  
Rather feel pain_

I need something to occupy all this free time I appear to have now. Without Voldemort, my life seems empty somehow, meaningless.

_I know (I know I know I know I know)  
That you're wounded_

I know Hermione is worried about me, yet I can't help the cold, distant expressions on my face. Nor, can I fill the silence that hangs every time someone tries to talk to me.

_You know (You know you know you know)  
That I'm here to save you_

I've lived a life full of **pain** ever since my parents died. I don't know how to live without that **pain**

_You know (You know you know you know)  
I'm always here for you  
_

_I_ wasn't really surprised when those brawny Healers dragged Ron off to a rehab.

I can't believe she's forcing me to go to muggle self help classes, by wand point!

_I know (I know I know I know I know)  
That you'll thank me later_

Damn it! Can't she see all I need is some type of **pain**? I'd rather feel **pain** than nothing at all.

_Pain, without love  
Pain, can't get enough  
Pain, I like rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

It wasn't supposed to be this hard to live after He died. It was supposed to be relatively easy, but things are never as easy as they seem.

_Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

_Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing  
__**Rather feel pain than nothing at all  
Rather feel pain**_


	3. You and Me

**You and Me**

****

_Hey, this is the third chapter, and probably the next to last one too. I hope you like it, understand it, or both. Listen to the song, it's better that way. Please review. I don't care if you hated and thought it was crap, or loved it and thought it was gold. Just review. I appreciate any and all comments and criticism._

**Disclaimer: I'm getting tired of these, but...I don't own HP, or the song "You and Me" by Lifehouse.**

_What day is it? And in what month?  
This clock never seemed so alive  
I can't keep up and I can't back down  
I've been losing so much time_

"**Ron! Be quiet, somebody might hear you!" she whispered.**

"**So, what if they do? I want the whole world to know that I love you, Luna Lovegood," I said happily.**

**She just smiled and kept on walking up the hill towards the Shrieking Shack.**

_Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do  
Nothing to lose  
And it's you and me and all of the people  
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you_

When we returned to Hogwarts after defeating You-Know-Who, Bill ran up to us to tell us the bad news. It seemed like half of our friends were either in critical condition or dead. Dad was killed by that creep Zabini, and Mum had gone insane. Poor Bill, Fleur had been cut across the chest. No one had noticed, so she bled to death. Then, Bill started listing off our friends. _Colin Creevy, Cho Chang, Denis Creevy, Alicia Spinnet, Susan Bones, __**Luna Lovegood**_

_All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right  
I'm tripping on words  
You've got my head spinning  
I don't know where to go from here_

I froze. Oh Merlin, anyone but Luna. Harry, sensing how much I wanted to know about her death, but couldn't ask in fear of making Hermione suspicious, asked instead. Quickly, Bill told us about what the Malfoys did. If Fred and George hadn't already taken them out, I think I would have hunted the world to find and do to them what they had done to my Luna. Instead, I settled for waiting until no one was looking and kicking their dead corpses in the groin.

_Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do  
Nothing to prove  
And it's you and me and all of the people  
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you_

Luna hadn't wanted anyone to know about us. Harry had always assumed it was me who wanted it to be a well kept secret, but it was her. She was the one who was concerned about Hermione. In truth, I hadn't even thought about how Mione would take it when we announced our relationship. All I thought about was the fact that the sooner we told, the sooner I could marry the girl I loved.

_There's something about you now  
I can't quite figure out  
Everything she does is beautiful  
Everything she does is right_

Before we went to sleep that day, I thought Harry was going to talk to me about it, but he didn't. He didn't say anything. He just went to sleep. The next morning I woke up at 5 a.m. I journeyed down to Hogsmeade. There, I went to the Hog's Head and ordered a large fire whiskey. From that moment on, fire whiskey became my new best friend and my constant companion.

_Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do  
Nothing to lose  
And it's you and me and all of the people  
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you  
and me and all of the people with nothing to do  
Nothing to prove_

The months after that were a blur of color and sound. Then, one day everything became clear. My fire whiskey bottles were missing, and there were two gigantic Healers standing in my doorway. The next thing I knew, they had dragged me to the fireplace, and flooed me to St. Mungo's. I soon found out that Hermione had placed me in a wizarding alcoholic's recovery program.

_And it's you and me and all of the people  
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you_

A few days after entering the rehab program, I received an owl from Harry. Hermione was forcing him to go to some muggle life class, or something like that. He told me that he thinks Hermione knows about **Luna and me**, what we had. Those final words made me cry. I didn't cry when Luna died, not one tear, but that made me cry. Luna had been perfect for me, and Hermione must have known that. I guess it was kind of obvious considering **I could never take my eyes off of Luna**.

_What day is it?  
And in what month?  
This clock never seemed so alive_

**Again, PLEASE REVIEW!!! Thanx.**


	4. Let It Slide

_Okay this is the final chapter, chapter. I may or may not do an epilogue, so if I don't, I hoped you liked it. I know it wasn't fantastic, but I think I did pretty good for my first serious multi- chapter fic. This chapter is back in Hermione's point of view, and it's themed to the song "Let it Slide" by Joanna. Listening to the song helps, and I hope you like it, get it, or both._

**Disclaimer: I do not own HP, or the song "Let It Slide" by Joanna.**

****

**Let It Slide**

_It's a touch without feelings_

_It's a kiss without love_

_It's the faith that we're losing_

_And the truth that we hide_

**Looking at an old picture of me, Harry, and Ron, we look so happy. Hogwarts is sitting as regal as ever in the background, and there's snow falling in soft white cotton balls all around us.**

_It's a tear without cryin'_

_It's a word with no sound_

_It's my heart full of sorrow_

_And a lovere left behind_

_Ms.Granger:_

_We are sorry to inform you that Mr. Ronald Weasley has died. Somehow, he smuggled in a very potent liquid sedative and drank more than the legal amount specified. By the time we found him, the drug had overpowered his immune system; so unfortunately, there was nothing we could do. We are sorry for your loss and will preserve his body until you arrange for a proper burial._

_Sincerely,_

_Magicians Against Alcohol Consumption_

_(MAAC)_

_Keep me from fallin', from fallin'_

_You got to set me free_

_Free from cryin', from cryin'_

_And now it's clear to see_

_See that I'm leavin', I'm leavin'_

_Cause it's time to let me be_

I got the letter while Harry and I were celebrating his completion of the muggle life sessions with a quiet dinner at Grimmauld's Place. Harry was back, and he no longer seemed so far away from the rest of the world. During the process of the classes, he explained to me what he had felt. That night I think I cried more than when I learned of Dumbledore's death.

_Let it slide, let it slide_

_I know it hurts when I say good-bye_

_But the time has come_

_Let me spread my wings_

_It's Time to let me fly_

As soon as I finished the letter, it slipped slowly from my hands. Harry caught it mid fall, and quickly glanced over it. The frown that had spread across his face when I dropped the letter deepened. I hadn't seen this coming. After Harry started progressing throughout the life sessions, I received nothing but good reports from the MAAC about Ron. Of course, I assumed that meant that he was progressing, but now I know it meant that he just wasn't worsening.

_It's a room full of silence_

_It's a day without light_

_Where anger keeps rising_

_And there's nothing left to say_

"Harry? Was I wrong?" I questioned four days later after Ron had been buried the wizarding way beside Luna.

"Honestly, Mione? No, you weren't. If you had let him keep going the way he was, he just would have died sooner and maybe in a more painful way," he replied truthfully looking me directly in the eye.

_It's your face at the window_

_It's the world passing by_

_And the love that we shared_

_And the love we followed_

_Turned to pain along the way_

"I knew, about Luna. I knew. I knew how much she meant to him, but I never told him that I didn't care. I never really liked Ron, and I thought they made a cute couple. Why didn't he tell me?" I inquired of Harry in a faint whisper.

"Luna. Luna didn't want to hurt you. You know everyone's fantasy about us. They never thought we would want things any other way than the fairy tale one," he replied.

_Let it slide, let it slide_

_I know it hurts when I say good-bye_

_But the time has come_

_Let me spread my wings_

_Time to let me fly_

"Oh," was all I could say.

_Slide...slide...slide..._

Then we said goodbye to our best friend for a final time. I placed a single red rose on Ron's grave, and Harry placed another on Luna's. Then, we walked out of the graveyard, and reminisced about Hogwarts for the rest of our walk back to Grimmauld's Place. The Golden Trio really was no more, but we will always have those times when we were **sober**, even if we were in **pain**.

_Let it slide, let it slide  
I know it hurts when I say goodbye  
But the time has come let me spread my wings...  
time to let me fly  
Come on baby let it slide, let it slide  
I know it hurts when I say goodbye  
The time has come to let me spread my wings it's time to let me fly_

"It's just **you and me** now, Harry," I said.

"I think we'll be fine."

_Let it slide let it slide let it slide  
I know it hurts when I say goodbye but  
The time has come let me spread my wings it's time to let me fly_

**_Please REVIEW!!! I've only gotten one throughout this whole weekly process, but I've gotten over 100 hits. I would really appreciate, even if you didn't like my plot or style. I love (not really) all criticism and praise._**


	5. Sincerely

I just reread my own story, and I've decided that I'm going to let Chap. 4 be the ending. I like it just the way it is, and I'm not getting very much inspiration on how I could end it any other way. So thank you for reading, and if you were looking forward to another chapter, I'm sorry.

Maybe I Do


End file.
